Saturday, November 15, 2008,11:20 PM
I dunno why but i miss being the old zahura. I seriously dont care what people got to said about me and what people think towards me. But now, everything change. Trying to be a better me. Which is super hard because i havent forgive myself, regarding the past mistake. People who just know me dont know what i have gone through so far. Its been a super rocky and sad journey for me, but i always end up smiling for others. Why? Am i pretending to be someone im not? Well hunn do you really love me for who i am? You said every flaws can be change but what if i cant? I ask too much question i guess. Its hard being away from you because i tend to question myself about everything. I always look down on myself. My grandma love saying i look like one hindustan girl to everyone, saying how pretty i am and stuff but are you telling the truth or are you just saying because im malabari girl. I have issue about people talking good stuff about me. I just dont believe it. So its kinda useless if you try to convince me, cause i end up saying - "Yeah yeah". Damnnnn, i need help i guess. Sometimes people might be joking about something but for some reason i would feel sad upon hearing about what they got to say. Entah lah ehk. I just got to be more confident i guess. Well im trying. So give me time. Im just saying whats in my mind currently. Hunnn busy working so i just dont want to bother him with my stupid feeling and stupid doubts im having about myself. Hopefully we get to meet tomorrow if you are not tired. Im so looking forward alright. Like totally looking forward for our outing to town. Its been like two days since we last talk. Really talk i mean.I like open up about everything to you only and no one else. So its like kinda hard to make myself cheer up without you. Yesterday you didnt even replied my text. Well its alright lah, i dont mind. I guess you fall asleep or something. I been damn mood swing this few days. So people, try to tahan with me. Anyway dont care about what i got to say. Im alright. Like totally, just that im bored and just got to say such random stuff about my random thoughts. Thats about it i guess. I want to do my homework. Damn i like pay attention the whole time during class just now. Just trying to keep him away from my mind for the moment. =D Its like going midnight and i havent sleep. Im just miss someone thats all. Guess it would be better the next day. PEACE. SEE YOU PRETTY PEOPLE AT TOWN OR SINGAPORE. AND GUESS WHO I SAW YESTERDAY. AND GUESS WHO CAME BACK TO PEST ME AGAIN?! DAMMNNN. THATS ALL LAH. I LOVE YOU HUNNN, HEEEEEE *XOXOX*
