He make me feel warm inside. & No one can take him away from me 
|
|
|
Tuesday, December 19, 2006,4:40 PM
 She's Confused.. Just like me..
Humph. All day at home. Ain't know why i keep missing someone lately. Maybe should get myself occuiped with something so i can let go off the past. Its hard to let go something that its priceless. You cant buy it back with anything. Sometimes, i wonder why do i even think about someone. Trying hard to move on but i cant seem to be able to do it. As i lay in my bed, all these thoughts of someone come into my head. Thought of why im always thinking about it. I fall asleep thoughts of it will still floating in the air. Wondering if i wake up the next morning they'll still be there. The truth it will always be there. Inconsequential thoughts began to flit throught my mind. Confused. Trauma you said im experience. I guess. Sometimes when i feel like crying i wish that it will be going to rain as to hide my tears away.Whenever i began to reminisce what caused me to feel so hurtful, tear of pain started to trickle down my cheeks. Still remember till now. The truth always struck me like a bullet that pierced right thriugh my heart. Squating beside my bed,petrified, i tried to imagine my life without someone that i once have. My throat tightened as pain began to engulf me. Left a scar too deep to be erased. The darkness have fell like a shroud upon me. Sometime it seemed like a different world all of the sudden, remote and impervious to the helplessness was feeling. All i know now that the past had brought me so much misery.It got me afraid, very shaken with fear. Afraid that i will be hurt once again. Everytime i tried to forget about the past, it will find way to haunt me back. From reality to my dream world. Hoping it will formed into a piece of paper so that i could burn it and i could move on. Reality check. Aint going to happen. The only way i could over come it is to be stronger. Wonder how could i do that when i tend to get hurt every now and then. Caustic. Conundrum i must said. Am i hapless? I hope not. Can i annihilate my past? Impossible. Vulnerable? Absolutely. Heartrending? Absolutely. That how i felt after going thru so much. Just hoping for the best right now. Can i have one wish? Thats all i need.Till here then.. Love
|
|
|
